A Not Quite Serious Guide to High School Dating

By Joe Corcoran

Picture yourself. Now picture yourself with your arm around a fine dame.  If you have a honey in your sights, all you have to do is follow this advice to snag that sweet thang.

Picking up girls in high school isn’t quite the same as picking up girls you see at the mall, or meet at the pool, but it isn’t necessarily more difficult.  There isn’t that awkward feeling of approaching a complete stranger, and you may even know the lady you are gunning for pretty well if you have been classmates for a few years.  In high school, if you play your cards right, you can pick up chicks in a seemingly effortless manner.

Talking the Talk

Compare talking to a girl in class to talking to a girl at the mall.  What do you have to talk about with the girl in the mall?  Hopefully something, but it is hard to strike up a conversation when you don’t have anything to talk about.  In school you have something in common with every girl… Everybody is in school!  There are tons of reasons to start talking to a girl if you have a topic as broad as school.

“Do you know how to do this problem? Can you show me?”

“Hey, could I borrow a pen?”

“I barely finished this paper last night, did you have to stay up late?”

“Did you hear about…?”

“Hey, can I keep this pen?”

“What class are you headed to?”

Maybe you are a little too nervous to just start up a conversation, that’s all right, try talking to people around her.  She may enter the conversation if you ask questions anybody can answer:

“Do you guys understand this chapter?”

“Has anybody started the homework?”

“Can somebody explain this to me?”

But also ask questions that she has to answer, so that the two of you can talk to each other directly.  For instance, if she is on the cross country team, you could ask:

“When is the next cross country meet?”

“What is your best time?”

“Why did you sign up to run so much?”

Walking the Walk

After you have been talking to the tootsie in class for a while, it’s time to kick it up a notch. Try walking with her in the hall, it might seem weird at first, but if you just ask a question or two about the next class or homework, the next thing you know, you are walking around school with the beautiful lady by your side.  You can also sit by her at lunch, which is a great time get to know her better and talk about things other than school work.

Starting conversations at lunch are a bit easier, there are no teachers to make you focus on class work, and if you can’t think of anything, there are usually plenty of people around you to help kickstart a conversation.  In general, anything about food is good:

“What is your favorite food?”

“What is your favorite restaurant?”

“What do you think is in the mystery meat today?”

So, you have been talking to this girl you think is blazing hot for a while now, and you think she might be into you.  How do you get her to like you-no, how do you get her to want you.  It is time to start flirting.  Now, you know this girl is a dime, but you can’t just start telling her that she is a foxy babe.  No no no, you need to come at it in a more subtle way.  Talk to her about her hobbies and interests, ask her about after school activities or her friends.  The fact that you want to know about her will make her feel special, but you have to listen to the responses.  You can’t interrupt her and tell her that you want to make-out in the back of the Bijou.

Marking Your Territory

Girls love pictures.  Take some pictures with her, not pictures of her, pictures with her.  She will probably start taking pictures with you too. Find some excuses to get a friend to take a picture of the two of you together, and eventually some of them will make their way to social media.  Once the pictures are on social media, other guys will start to see her as your girl and any competition should begin to back off.

There is a big nonverbal part of flirting, there is no way you can land a babe if you stand five feet away from her every time you are talking, and if you slouch around you are going to look like you don’t care about what is going on.  So roll back your shoulders, stand up straight, and plant yourself right next to the girl you you want like she is a magnet. When she talks, lean in so she knows you are listening, maybe touch her arm or leg so you appear comfortable around her.

CAUTION
It is very important you know the difference between touching her arm or leg, and feeling her up. You have been putting a lot of time in trying to snag your big catch, you don’t want to be slapped in the face and called a pervert just because you put your hand in the wrong spot for too long.

It is time to make a move, you have been flirting for long enough.  There is probably some comments saying “d8” under one of the pictures of you two on Instagram.  If you don’t go soon, you are going to get trapped in the friendzone, and there have only been a few resilient young men to ever have escaped that.

AVOID THE FRIENDZONE!!
Once you fall into the friendzone, it is a long process to get out, so it is of the utmost importance that you do not let your lady see you as “just a friend.” The key to staying on a girl’s radar is to make sure she knows that she is on yours.

What “move” are you making exactly?  Well, you need to lock down a date, you can’t let your treasure get snatched up by some smelly pirate!

Making Your Move

Don’t just grab your phone and send a text, you need to ask in person.  If you are trying to make a girl friend into a girlfriend you have to ask her on a date face to face.  Not only does a text make it seem like you are scared of her, but it is much harder for a girl to say no to you when you are there in person.  It is also important to ask her at the right time.  Don’t just blurt out in class that you think she looks good and you want to eat a Pancheros burrito with her.

Find a time when you and your soon to be honey are talking exclusively.  You don’t want to just ask in the middle of a conversation with multiple people.  Also, ask to do something fun, your first date shouldn’t be “Netflix and chill.”  There are plenty of things you can do other than sit in the basement and watch a movie.  Go out and get dinner, go on a bike ride, do something interesting so that she will be excited to go out, a boring date can make you look like a boring person.

Boom, you got a date.  My job here is done.  Getting a girl can be easy as long as you play your cards right.  A dime you have your eye on in class one day can be the babe you have your arm around while walking through the halls in almost no time at all.