I’ve been grappling with the thought of this day coming since we left school. I am now a senior. It feels good to be the oldest, but it’s also the scariest. So many lasts. The thought of writing my last column at the end of this school year makes my heart break a little. This column has been an excellent way for me to grow, but I have to leave it behind. I have to leave behind the nursing home I’ve fallen in love with, where I’ve seen each resident warm up to me. I have to really learn how to say goodbye to these things that have defined me as a person for so long.

I sat down and read one of my favorite book series of all time again. I first read the Alice series by Phyliss Rendolds Naylor when I was around 10, I read through as many of the books as I could get my hands on. I’ve never related more to a character than I do to Alice. I read the book again about her going into her senior year as I am going into mine and it’s been awhile since I’ve read one of the books. I remember the first time I read the book being a senior was so far away and now here it is.

One of my friends told me she just wants to move on from high school. Another agreed. I am not ready to leave; in fact, right now I feel scared and nervous about leaving.

I’m trying to be excited about what this year will bring but there is still so much unknown due to the coronavirus. I really felt I was starting to take advantages of new opportunities, and make new friends. Of course I can still do this, but I know school will not be the same. During junior year I started going to every football game, and I attended state volleyball. If you know me, you know I am not one for sports at all, but the cheering is fun, and I love the look on faces when the Mustangs win.

The times you are the most scared are the best for you. I’ve been scared so many times. One of the big times I was scared is starting this column. I still have a hard time processing the fact that people read this and enjoy it. I want my senior year to be the best year of high school yet. I have high hopes and new aspirations for this year. I mean hey front row sounds pretty nice.

Leaving is scary, and I don’t want to make any sudden decisions just yet. Despite how cliché the sentiment, I want to enjoy every moment I get.